Pretty Pink Gem

Somebody told me today that me and my ex are a “perfect couple” and that we were “made for eachother” ….. 😭

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fuck you. fuck you.fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you. fuck you for making me feel this way. fuck you.

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the man i love with my whole body. the man i stuck with through six months to make sure he was gonna be okay, through anything and everything he put himself through, told me he didnt love me the way he used to anymore.

That fucking hurt like hell.

and so of course i broke up with him. And i’ve been so fine with it for the last two weeks. And today i had like the best day since everything happened, and of course i come into my room and randomly break down so bad.

I’m falling apart.

theres noone to talk to because everyone is sleeping.

and i just need to get out my love for this man.

he seriously did nothing to deserve my love.

Well he did, sometimes, but not enough for how much i love him.

And he seems so fine. I just wanna know he’s falling apart the way i am.

I dream about him every night, but i’m trying so hard to stay strong.

For my own heart, i’m trying so hard to stay away from him.
Because idk if i can handle him tearing me apart this way again.

i’ve taken so many chances with him, praying things between us would get better, not worse, and he just doesnt fucking love me.

how do you spend three years with a person and then all of a sudden push them away and tell them you dont love them the same anymore?!

and not break it off?!?!?!!?

sometimes i wonder if i wouldnt have brought it up if he would have just kept going through the days like everything was okay, like he did love me.

i just dont even wanna move. i just

fuck.

idk.

i miss this man.

and i’m doing everything i can right now not to text or call him.

i’m staying strong, because i know i deserve someone who will put as much effort into a relationship as i will. i know i’ll be happy someday that i stayed strong and didnt run back to the man who has broken my heart more than once. because most days without him, i am happy

i’m just so emotional tonight and it’s just killing me.

i needed to get this out. sorry.

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i dont know what to do

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I feel so alone

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